What is DISCERNMENT COUNSELING?

Deciding whether to stay in your relationship/marriage or not can be a complex and confusing process. When both partners are in agreement and committed to making the relationship work, then the best path is couples’ therapy which can help them rebuild or  strengthen their relationship. 

However, when a couple is not sure about whether or not to end things or stay in the relationship, or one partner is considering ending things while the other partner is not, then discernment counseling is the more suitable path. It is a short-term approach aimed at helping mixed-agenda couples make the right decision on which path to take.

Discernment counseling is aimed at helping couples find clarity in their relationship (it lasts a maximum of 5-6 sessions). We may begin with an intro call with yourself and with your partner. The five sessions will follow this format: 

• Before the first session: Intro phone call – 15 minutes with each partner
• First session – joint session – 120 minutes
• Middle 3 sessions: 60-90 minutes each
• Fifth session (final session) – termination session with a final decision taken on Path 1, 2, or 3.

You can expect a nonjudgmental space, where you will have one-on-one time with the therapist, as well as joint sessions with your partner. The therapist will respect your feelings and your position on the relationship, and will not try to convince you to change your mind. The therapist will not take sides. 

The goal is to identify, by the 5th and final session, which path the couple wants to take:

• Path 1 = To reconcile & begin couple’s therapy
• Path 2 = Divorce/separation
• Path 3 = Maintain the status quo

During the 5 sessions outlined above, the therapist will help both partners to better understand the current dynamics of the relationship, to identify their own and their partner's position towards the relationship.

This type of counseling can be very helpful when the two partners don't agree about which direction to take. One might be considering separation, or feeling disengaged from the relationship (this is the Leaning Out partner) and the other might be committed and wanting to fight for it to work (this is the Leaning In partner). This 'mixed agenda' is what makes discernment suitable, it helps bring clarity and confidence to each partner. 

The therapist will not judge you, nor will they try to convince you to stay or to leave. Their role is to help you and your partner find the clarity and confidence to either work on restoring your relationship or to take the decision together to end the relationship. 

Discernment counseling is NOT suitable if:

1. The decision to separate has already been taken and one partner wants to try to change the other partner’s mind. 
2. One partner has agreed to end the relationship and wants to use discernment as a way to break the news or to break up with their partner. 
3. If there is a danger of domestic violence, then neither discernment nor couples’ therapy is appropriate. It is advised you reach out for individual help.

Contact us at the counseling center (HRIC) to enquire about booking, sessions, and to schedule an intro call with you and your partner:  www.hricdubai.com  or at +97143658498